Weekly Diary

This last week ran a little under the week before. I started the week strong, but work's been tense and I lost my oomph by the end of the week. Anyway, the count was 4026 words. The total count for Embers and Flame at this point is 45000, so I've only 10K to hit my goal, although I have this feeling it's going to be closer to 60K to finish it out without hurrying the ending. Again, I went so off plot, I'm not exactly sure where I'm going to end it. I'm thinking "climatic scene", solution and then jump ahead with an epilogue. The original plot was going to have more focus on them living together and the challenges they faced, but I'm not even close to that--45K in and the relationship is only 3 months old!

So I'm going to put it out there--anyone interested in Beta reading and discussing the rest of the plot with me, put it in the comments and I'll send you a copy of the first draft, up to where I currently am.

from Chapter 14:

Ben led me to a shadowed alcove at the side of the building and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a kiss. He was drunk enough for it to be a little sloppy, lacking his usual intensity. He trailed his tongue across my jaw and nibbled into my neck, sucking at the skin over my pulse point. I moaned as he bit and then laved his tongue over the spot, over and over. I gave him a push. “Stop. You’re going to leave a mark.”

“That’s the idea. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” But he stopped and let me draw back to put an inch of distance between us.

I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but the words pushed their way out of my throat, nonetheless. “What are you doing with me? Why am I here?”  

“What?” Ben’s incredulous look was clear enough under the dim streetlight. “Why would you ask that?”

“You can have your pick. Any of the women in there. They fawn all over you. So, why me? What do I have to offer?” Okay, I’d never realized that liquor made my inner monologue less inner, and instead, more nakedly on display. But I couldn’t stop myself. All my doubts, all my fears, rushed out, a wave of insecurity that I didn’t even realize I’d been hoarding. “I’m nothing special. Hair that won’t lay down, freckles everywhere, colorless eyes. No special talents. I’m not interesting. I’m a codfish.” Ben was speechless as I spewed it all out. “Hell, one woman in there told me I must give really good head. As if that’s the only reason you’d be with me. Is that it, do I give good head?” I paused to draw a breath, but Ben stopped me with another kiss.

“Well, you do. Give good head, I mean,” he whispered against my mouth and I felt his lips twitch up and curl as he pushed his hips against mine. But then he pulled away and captured my face between his hands. “I’m with you because you make me feel good. In a way I haven’t for a very long time. Maybe never. You’re hair is thick and wild, your freckles are delicious, and your eyes reflect every emotion that runs through your head. Sometimes they’re silver like the underside of maple leaves; sometimes they’re dark like the sky before a storm. When we’re at the campground, they reflect the green of the grass and trees. And your eyelashes. God, I love how they’re red but tipped with white. You’re beautiful.”

He pulled me against him again and laid his head on my shoulder. The high-pitched whistle of a train came from far away, thin and shrill while crickets sang to the moon. I was afraid to break the peace between us and I drew in a lungful of the cooling midnight air. Ben’s voice was soft but I heard it clear, even though he was facing away from me. “I’m nothing but a grease monkey while you actually do something important. You keep people alive. What can you find interesting about me?”

My heart almost broke at his tone and I held him tighter. “Oh, babe, we’re drunk, aren’t we? You’re everything I could ever want. Everything I ever wanted.”

He lifted his head and kissed me again, a full-body kiss that was sweet and slow but promised of so much more to come. We were tangled together, held up by the brick wall of the building, when the door opened and we heard voices as a crowd of people flooding out onto the sidewalk, their laughter cutting sharp against the nighttime sounds. “Ready to go home?” he asked.

“Yes, please.”